Simon Haines
Mickey Mouse Politics
We’ve painted over the cartoons
on your asylum centre walls
to make absolutely sure you know
that you’re not welcome here.
If you can’t believe we’re nasty
and try running rings around us,
we’ll lock the doors to the world outside,
make sure you can’t get out.
And if you smile too happily,
or look healthy and well-fed,
we’ll lock you in a darkened room,
feed you water and dry bread.
Blame your selfish parents,
if you arrived here all alone.
But never fear, we’ll send you back
To your cruelly war-torn home.
Pledging Allegiance
They wanted me to pledge allegiance
to the newly crowned King Charles
to speak some words I wouldn’t mean
on the day of his [abdication] Coronation.
They’re offering me a[n active] passive role
In this [histrionic] historic occasion.
Left to my own [advices] devices
I might be tempted to say:
“I hereby [dredge] pledge my loyalty
to you, most [affable] laughable symbol
of inequality to [fool] rule our land.
We accept our [expensive] offensive subjugation
working our arses off, smiling beguilingly.
Heil Hail to the great landowner
You’re a [sample] example to all
who would scale the greasy pole
so as better to [spit] shit on us below
who beg for a share of the [soils] spoils!
I was taught to be polite,
so I won’t say such things.
I’ll restrict myself to [rapid] vapid thoughts:
“Are you not [proclaimed] ashamed to be so different
from those you call your [objects] subjects?
And what of the [bravery] slavery your family
relied on to buy [phalluses] palaces, castles, and moors?
Don’t you feel just a little bit [queasy] sleazy?
Simon Haines was born in May 1946, Northwich, Cheshire. He has written poetry since the age of 7 when he won second prize in a national poetry competition for writing an extra verse to ‘Old Mother Hubbard’. He wrote sporadically during his career as a language teacher, but in addition to teaching, he was also writing ESOL textbooks and articles for music magazines. Covid lockdowns gave him more time and more subjects to write about and he spends a lot of his time now writing articles and poems. In his spare time he is in a number of folk music bands playing for dancing as well as in a group which composes and plays music to accompany poetry, currently with the poet Blake Morrison.
Lost Or Double-Crossed
finding snow aglow on the ground
grass like glass in morning frost
no sun yet to get us warm
sleeping rough is tough
under bridges freezing fridges in
threadbare clothes those charities give us
humans lost or double-crossed
by lopsided or misguided structures
aiding neither poor nor homeless
but letting in the few who queue
to pass the test and line their nest
gratifyng greed not need
we’d like to think a chink in their shield
might bring about their final fall - all
tumbling while mumbling their innocence
neither innocent nor decent but guilty as charged
clutching their wealth by stealth acquired
they’ve always screwed you and spewed you out.
thistles stretch their prickly arms afar
Militant Thistles