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Here is the news


Here is the morning news and this is


reading it.


Today the Government will announce

a major new policy.

The deliberate leaks say it will contain

some exciting soundbites.

The important stuff will, of course, be lost

in the hundred pages that

we haven’t mentioned.

And tomorrow, we’ll have judged

that you’ll have lost

interest. So we won’t

tell you about it anyway.


Here is the lunchtime news and this is


reading it.


A blonde, beautiful child is in a

heartbreaking situation.

Similar tragedies happen every day to

ugly children, black children and

adults with BO and nasal hair,

but we know this one will

tug the old strings. Anyway,

it’s cheaper than sending film crews to record

ignored wars and

another million refugees.

Jane Overton is a poet based in Ayrshire. She has read her work at a number of festivals including Stanza, Wickerman and the Edinburgh Fringe. She has been published in The Herald and has a pamphlet, Short Term Parking published by Calder Wood Press.

Here is the evening news and this is


reading it.


A ‘celebrity’ has got into

a really huge mess this time.

We have spent months engaging you emotionally (suckers!)

And this fool is off the rails

due to the attention.

Shame it squeezed out

the latest Middle Eastern carnage.


Here is the late night news and this is


reading it.


The Royals are throwing

a concert. Nice one!

Music and monarchy. So

not much chance of

proper news tonight.

But then, that suits your

shrinking attention spans.

We’ll run a story on you tomorrow,

blaming poor parenting and rotten schools.


And now, here’s a busty but brainy blonde

with the weather

and a jokey bloke

supplying sport.

Or vice versa.


It no longer matters.

Poor Doors
Sheriff Stars

thistles stretch their prickly arms afar

Black Triangle
bedroom tax
Disrupt and Upset

Jane Overton

bedroom tax
Sheriff Stars

thistles stretch their prickly arms afar

Black Triangle
Disrupt and Upset

Militant Thistles

prickling the politics of "permanent austerity"

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